We
all have people in our lives that focus non-stop on the negative, what they are
lacking, why life is unfair, and the perceived faults of others. I once had a
supervisor at a former job that was so miserable she spent an inordinate amount
of her day finding fault with everybody who reported to her, trying to find
evidence that our manager was involved in inappropriate relationships with
subordinates and passing judgment on others. The environment was toxic. I took
another job within the company and ultimately left my employer to escape the
negativity. It was draining. At the time I had a counselor who recommended I
imagine this person had a brain tumor and couldn’t help it, but at the time I
was too fragile to really understand. Miserable people beget misery. Sharing
their unhappiness and trying to create unhappiness in others is a way of
attempting to feel better about themselves.
Eventually,
I came to understand that for me to thrive I needed to divest myself of
negative people, to invest in relationships with others who are emotionally
grounded and healthy, and to keep my focus on my blessings and feeling
gratitude for the wonders of life. This
meant that I needed to sever some long- standing friendships and detach with
love from some family members. While in some respects I was saddened by this
decision, I knew that it was the best course of action for me to live a life of
peace and serenity. Refusing to become
involved in other people's maelstroms of discontent, anger, unhappiness, self
hatred, gossip, innuendo, plots, insecurities, dysfunction, relationships,
addictions or familial strife, set me free to live a life unfettered by the
black holes or magnetic forces that pull others into the vortex of misery.
That
is a gift, progress towards enlightenment, an appreciation for a semblance of
sanity, and knowledge that I do not have to take on anybody else’s baggage.
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