Don’t Settle for the Wrong Relationship Out of Fear
One
of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned if not the most valuable lesson is
that I deserve to have a fulfilling life and relationship with a partner.
Absent that, I am better off alone. Life
is too short to spend hours, days, weeks, months or years unhappy.
I
have many friends, both men and women, who stay in miserable, unhappy,
dangerous, or boring marriages or relationship out of fear. I’ve done that
myself. My first marriage lasted longer than was healthy because I feared
disappointing my family, my religious background, society and myself. I didn’t
want to be a failure. I was afraid of the financial implications. I feared the
unknown. It wasn’t until I was at a place where staying was more painful than
going that I had the courage to change.
Of course, as an aficionado at that time of dysfunctional relationships,
I jumped right back into the fire rather than risk living alone. It took me
several more years of additional pain, work in Al Anon on myself, and a journey
of self discovery to understand that my higher power wants me to be happy and
fulfilled. Once I came to appreciate
that I could be that happy, fulfilled person living a life of peace and
serenity within myself, not dependent upon the opinions of others or needed a
partner to validate me, I was free to accept love and a healthy relationship.
After
I became emotionally healthy, and identified what was important to me, and
decided that I would accept nothing less, and put that information out into the
Universe, it came to me. This is the power of positive thinking. I’ve learned
to focus on my gratitude for an abundant life and I live an abundant life.
The
ability to live likewise is within each of us. Whenever I start to lose faith in my path, I
recite The Serenity Prayer.
God, grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I
can; and the wisdom to know
the difference.
If I
am unhappy, I can either change my attitude or change my path. Sometimes, I had
to decide to change my attitude and my path.
I spent decades fearing change only to ultimately discover it set me
free. Celebrate the gift of life and
take that chance on happiness and fulfillment.
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