Our First Christmas as Orphans

 

I know I’ve been fortunate to have my dad and my in-laws in my life  for as long as I have. Many people do not have such good fortune. But, it doesn’t matter when your loved ones pass to whatever is beyond. It is a devastating finality that alters one’s perception of life. The loss leaves a crater in one’s heart that can never be filled. 

This is our first Christmas without our parents, the people who raised us, gave us our moral center, and loved us unconditionally. It is not to say without disapproval. Instead, we knew, no matter what dumb stuff we did, our parents would not give up on us. 

Yes,  I know I disappointed both of my parents. It’s just a facet of live. But, that never stopped them from loving me, talking on a Sunday afternoon or giving the benefit of the doubt.

I am grateful for that blessing. And I miss the ability to embrace my loved ones, spend time with them, listen to their stories, and absorb the lessons they learned throughout their lives. I’m not sure what it will take to fill the hole in my heart.